I can feel & hear the Lord, asking me to give more of myself to Him, & I am still struggling & holding on tightly to myself. I know that my relationship will improve & I trust He knows me, better than my family, my friends & more then I know myself. I still want & desires the things this sinful world offers, but then again, I know true happiness is not in the treasure of this world. I have experience & the pleasure it gives is only temporary, the Holy Bible says the Lord will give me whatever i desire if I delight in Him;
Does that mean he will give me someone to have a relationship with, or a lot of money, or a comfortable big place to live, where the weather is pleasant, on top of that I will never get any kind of sickness or age? Maybe I have misunderstood the meaning of life & the world tells me to do what makes me happy, but it seems making myself happy is endless & i end up extremely tired, then stressed. The Holy Bible says all I do to make myself happy, in my labor & in all my hard work, or even the education i get to know how to perform better is meaningless, just like chasing the invisible wind.
Ecclesiastes 2:9 All that my eyes desired I did not refuse them. I did not withhold my heart from any pleasure, for my heart was pleased because of all my labor and this was my reward for all my labor. 10 All that my eyes desired I did not refuse them. I did not withhold my heart from any pleasure, for my heart was pleased because of all my labor and this was my reward for all my labor. 11 Thus I considered all my activities which my hands had done and the labor which I had exerted, and behold all was vanity and striving after wind and there was no profit under the sun.
So why am I so stubborn? I ask myself that all the time, I can teach & understand the Word of God, but I can’t live by it 100%, I have even driven some family & other Christians away from me, so others can see my weakness. But some people think I am a pastor & ask me Biblical questions & I can answer them, even ask for prayer & I pray for them,but I will be unworthy to do such a righteous thing. I would like to ask the people who I send Bible devotionals to, to pray for me, so I can give all of myself to the Lord, so that I can be the man of God I say I am, I want to be the worker of God I say I am. I wanted to be blessed, like my church family say I am to teach God’s Word. I wanted to be comfortable in my action & not have people on social media or anywhere, am i really a Christian. I don’t wanna have doubt in my heart, if i will inherit the kingdom of God, if one day i suddenly hear the trumpet sound, I personally wonder if i will drop dead or will i be taken up to meet Jesus in the heavens. I ask you to pray for me, so I can lose my life for Christ sake, so that i can save myself & my life. Thank you all, God bless. Jesus loves you & so do I. Sam H. I made this devotional a while back, just to have extra, today i got angry & I used very hateful words. The person I was angry with, Isn’t a Christian & he knows I am. When I got angry at he, I cussed at him & I even told him I was ready to fight him. I hurt family members & I made Jesus look bad. Please pray for me, that i can live by the words i teach, please pray for my family members I wanna represent Jesus to. Please pray that I can surrender all of myself Jesus & be more like Him & less like Samuel Jerry Head.
Proverbs 23:26 Give me your heart, my son, And let your eyes delight in my ways.