I can feel & hear the Lord, asking me to give more of myself to Him, & I am still struggling & holding on tightly to myself. I know that my relationship will improve & I trust He knows me, better than my family, my friends & more then I know myself. I still want & desires the things this sinful world offers, but then again, I know true happiness is not in the treasure of this world. I have experience & the pleasure it gives is only temporary, the Holy Bible says the Lord will give me whatever i desire if I delight in Him;
Does that mean he will give me someone to have a relationship with, or a lot of money, or a comfortable big place to live, where the weather is pleasant, on top of that I will never get any kind of sickness or age? Maybe I have misunderstood the meaning of life & the world tells me to do what makes me happy, but it seems making myself happy is endless & i end up extremely tired, then stressed. The Holy Bible says all I do to make myself happy, in my labor & in all my hard work, or even the education i get to know how to perform better is meaningless, just like chasing the invisible wind.
So why am I so stubborn? I ask myself that all the time, I can teach & understand the Word of God, but I can’t live by it 100%, I have even driven some family & other Christians away from me, so others can see my weakness. But some people think I am a pastor & ask me Biblical questions & I can answer them, even ask for prayer & I pray for them,but I will be unworthy to do such a righteous thing. I would like to ask the people who I send Bible devotionals to, to pray for me, so I can give all of myself to the Lord, so that I can be the man of God I say I am, I want to be the worker of God I say I am. I wanted to be blessed, like my church family say I am to teach God’s Word. I wanted to be comfortable in my action & not have people on social media or anywhere, am i really a Christian. I don’t wanna have doubt in my heart, if i will inherit the kingdom of God, if one day i suddenly hear the trumpet sound, I personally wonder if i will drop dead or will i be taken up to meet Jesus in the heavens. I ask you to pray for me, so I can lose my life for Christ sake, so that i can save myself & my life. Thank you all, God bless. Jesus loves you & so do I. Sam H. I made this devotional a while back, just to have extra, today i got angry & I used very hateful words. The person I was angry with, Isn’t a Christian & he knows I am. When I got angry at he, I cussed at him & I even told him I was ready to fight him. I hurt family members & I made Jesus look bad. Please pray for me, that i can live by the words i teach, please pray for my family members I wanna represent Jesus to. Please pray that I can surrender all of myself Jesus & be more like Him & less like Samuel Jerry Head.